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Sorrowful Days

Ecclesiastes 7:3 Sorrow is better than laughter, because a sad face is good for the heart.

For more than a week, I have been really missing Mom.  I'm not sure what it is or why it is so apparent at this time.  We are just five months into this journey and maybe that's just it.  We are adjusting to life without her here and yet I feel as though we have not seen any significant change anywhere, other than that she is gone. (That's quite significant.)  What I mean is that I have not seen any change in the world around me, as I had hoped would happen.  I was hoping that God had some big plan He was working on and that this pain and sorrow would have lasting impact outside of my family.  Granted I am being changed and transformed by this suffering, but I want it to be for others as well.  I want others to know the nearness of God as we have gotten to know Him.  Having God be close does not remove the suffering, the hurt, or the sadness.  There is just something there that I cannot begin to describe.  However, I am tired of meeting God in my sorrow.  I am very ready to meet Him in the happiness of life.  I will no longer take for granted those moments where "all is right with the world".  I need one of those moments very soon.  For now, I get to experience streams in the desert through my sorrow, but I long for my sorrow to turn to dancing.

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