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Being Poured Out

Deuteronomy 31:8 The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

I am not sure how many times God tells Joshua not to be afraid or discouraged, but I found several references today.  As I was thinking about what to write today, I was prompted to read about Joshua.  The first words that I read were, "Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged."  These were the most perfect words for me to hear from the Spirit right now.  I'm not exactly afraid, but I have been feeling a bit discouraged.  As I read some extra references around this text, I was led to the focus verse. There is so much here that feeds my soul.  I am comforted knowing that God goes ahead of us on this journey and that He promises to always be there.  He is the one constant that we always have.  I have been fortunate that I have come from a very consistent home, with parents who were predictable and loving.  Mom's passing has forced me to look to God in ways I now realize I have never done before.  I had praised God for his sameness and had taken comfort in His words that promised this.  However, these days I am understanding that at a much deeper level.  When you lose someone close to you, you feel as though a piece of you has been poured out.  In a sense I suppose that is kind of what has happened.  It feels as though that part of me is being poured out as an offering to God, an offering of a treasured earthly "possession".  In the emptiness that remains, I am filled with Holy Spirit at a level I cannot even begin to put words to.  I am not afraid!  I am not discouraged!  I am being filled to overflowing with a portion of the Holy Spirit that is greater than any possession I have ever known! I guess there might be a little of my Pentecostal mama in me. :-)

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